Missing My Mom

It’s been a year since my mom passed away,  and there are few days that go by that I don’t think of her and wonder if there was more I could have done for her while she was alive, or what I could have done to save her.
My brother Michael called me before her funeral to ask what “mom” stories I could remember, the only thing I could recall at the time was how we had been camping when a tornado hit. Why that was all I could remember is beyond me, perhaps the storm that was raging in my heart after her death clouded my mind from thinking of anything else. I felt awful that I missed my chance to publicly tell my mom thank you for all she had done for me.
So as I remember my mom today I want to thank her for those things that she taught me that will forever be part of my life.
My mom taught me how to type on her old royal typewriter long before the days of computers, she taught me to always say thank you for every gift (even if I hated it) and always write a note of thanks. She showed me the importance of family through her love of her siblings and parents. She taught me to always try to remain cheerful on the outside even when your heart was breaking (a lesson I still struggle with). She taught me how to do my own taxes, how to paint a room and refinish furniture, how to plant a garden, and transplant flowers. She was frugal, yet generous. Distant but loving.
My mom was a good person who was loved by everyone who knew her. She did not lead an easy life, but always maintained a light of grace and dignity even during her darkest times.
I don’t think we can ever understand how deep a mothers love is until we ourselves become parents. The heartbreak, the joy, the worrying and the relief when we find our ways. There were so many things I did not find out about my mom until recently, things that made me respect her and love her even more.
So to all my friends who are fortunate enough to have your moms here on earth, be sure to thank them daily for all those things they taught you, big and small. Life is short and we never know when our loved ones will be called away from this earth, don’t let them go with any regrets of what you could have said or done.
My favorite poem is The Sin of Ommision by Margaret Sangster – 
In it she writes, 
“It isn’t the the thing you do dear,
It’s the thing you leave undone
Which gives you a bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.”

Mom I miss you, and I sincerely apologize for all my sins of omission during your time here on earth.

The Sin of Omission
By Margaret Elizabeth Sangster
The Sin of Omission
It isn’t the thing you do, dear;
It’s the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you a bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.
The tender word forgotten,
The letter you did not write,
The flower you might have sent, dear,
Are your haunting ghosts to-night.
The stone you might have lifted
Out of brother’s way,
The bit of heartsome counsel
You were hurried too much to say;
The loving touch of the hand, dear,
The gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time nor thought for,
With troubles enough of your own.
The little acts of kindness,
So easily out of mind;
Those chances to be angels
Which every one may find
They come in night and silence
Each chill, reproachful wraith
When hope is faint and flagging
And a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, dear,
And sorrow is all too great;
To suffer our great compassion
That tarries until too late;
And it’s not the thing you do, dear,
It’s the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.